If there is one person, or more, on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

"Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love."


meh, why not, tis the season to spread the love. ;)

so someone who i know is a friend of jay's randomly friends me.  ok, sure,  i don't get it but if you're a half decent person, whatever. after all, i met fic_kitty through him and she's awesome. so i politely ask why the friending...

'oh, is this not rosie?'


*hoots*

I submit to you the proposed Amendment 48 to the Colorado Constitution, which will be on the ballot one month from today.

1 Ballot Title: An amendment to the Colorado constitution defining the term "person"
2 to include any human being from the moment of fertilization as "person" is used in those
3 provisions of the Colorado constitution relating to inalienable rights, equality of justice,
4 and due process of law.

5 Text of Proposal:

6 Be it Enacted by the People of the State of Colorado:

7 SECTION 1. Article II of the constitution of the state of Colorado is amended BY THE
8 ADDITION OF A NEW SECTION to read:

9        Section 31. Person defined. AS USED IN SECTIONS 3, 6, AND 25 OF ARTICLE II OF
10 THE STATE CONSTITUTION, THE TERMS "PERSON" OR "PERSONS" SHALL INCLUDE ANY
11 HUMAN BEING FROM THE MOMENT OF FERTILIZATION.


****************************

I don't think I have to explain to any of you the possible and probable implications of something like this.  If you are a voter in Colorado, we need to bring this down.  If you are not a voter in Colorado, pester those that are, and pass it on. I don't normally get political at people, but this is so many kinds of wrong.

Alphabetical Song meme
Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
List 5 songs you love beginning with that letter.


creativedv8tion gave me the letter 'd'  for dancing_ashes.  This is actually not as difficult as it could be, since it's just songs I love, not absolute favorites. ;)

Dream On--Aerosmith
Duende--Delerium
Darkness--Disturbed
Devil With a Blue Dress--Mitch Ryder
Damaged--Plumb

conflict.  i has it.


*raises an arm with extended index finger in a gesture somewhere between 'charge' and john and my 'bullshit!' gesture and muddles forth*

some days i'm a passably cool individual in my own eyes, nothing particularly notable, but not scum either.  some days i'm pretty damn awesome.

today, i freaking rock. =)

to the traffic rant of yesterday, I submit:

Please to be learning how to make proper left turns.  If I'm in the westbound going-straight lane and there's a left turn lane next to me, I should not be in danger of being clipped by the southbound-turning-eastbound fools.  You have an eastbound lane.  Not only should you not be in the southbound turning lane, you should not be so far in it that you come close to clipping me.  Christ people, quit being so damn sloppy with your driving.

i feel like i should be doing something besides just crocheting tonight, so yay writing, meaningless as it may end up.  i'm also ready to sleep, but it's only just after 9...meh, half the week done at least.  if i were any more eager for the weekend i'd probably be going nuts. i mean, more than usual.  hush, ter, i know what you're thinking regarding my sanity. ;)

so yeah.  some of my pet peeves have been agitated the last couple days.

interbusiness communication:  if we tell the owner we don't know how to use the check verifier, and he says ok, he'll get the general manager to call and explain it to us, and then an hour later she calls and blesses us out for not using it, but doesn't actually explain it, there's a breakdown somewhere.  similarly, if you get something in the sewing dept to repair that looks fucked up, make a note that you got it this way before sending it back to us, we've had enough issues recently that we might well presume you fucked it up over there.

epic customer rants:  ok, you got your shirts back and you're not happy with how they were done, and you're calling me to tell me specifically what's wrong with them.  i'm very sorry that you're dissatisfied, you're more than welcome to bring them back in and we'll redo them for free.  i do not need another 5-10 minutes of you repeating yourself when i have a whole lot of work to do and i've already pleasantly and professionally offered to fix your problem. shut up, bring them in, be happier. end of story.

ok, traffic signs do actually exist for a reason.  it drives me freaking nuts when people try to be nice in ways that actually impede traffic.  if i'm waiting at the yield to enter a traffic circle (which i hate on general principles, but that's irrelevent) then i am perfectly content to wait my turn. please do not stop yourself and the three cars behind you because you think you should let me in.  two way stops are generally such for good reason.  if you don't have the stop signs, keep moving.  please.  we'll all get around much faster that way.

*sigh* guess it's my night to feel all lonely and stuff.  ah well, i'll get over it.

y'know, if i could just get the job thing sorted out, i think i could safely say my life is starting to look pretty damn decent. 

*hopes for job*

Ok, so I'm actually starting to use this as a journal since I can't reliably remember to write in my paper one.  Therefore here begins the practice of denoting things as 'journal i don't mind other people reading' or 'entertainment for the masses.'

I guess it's a writing day...

So we know my myspace account inploded...After my initial zomgwtfhowrude reaction, I suddenly went 'oh shit...my blogs.'  Granted, a lot of that was ranting garbage, but some of the stuff I wrote...my first posts of Colorado, memories of Dad a year after his passing...a few other things. I don't have copies of that stuff because I didn't think I needed to.  Hah.

I've been missing Dad a lot lately.  A song came on the other day at work and made me think of him...thinking that I wish somehow we had more recordings of his voice, more family pictures, more...stuff.  He's alive in my mind, in my heart, in the perfectly clear memories I have--the way he'd putz around the kitchen singing like a wounded bear, his gift for wicked one-liners, his uproarious laughter at anything just ridiculous...the way he cried when he came upstairs to get me and saw me in my wedding dress for the first time. The refrigerator door we left outside Patrick's door at DBCC. The last note I have in his handwriting, when he couldn't talk anymore, asking me to leave a light on in the kitchen for when Mom got home.  When she turned it off he knew she was home safely.  The didn't always have the best relationship, but that man *loved* my mother.

I can't forget the last night we spent with him alive on this earth.  I remember the good things, but I can't forget our last vigil. That night is imprinted photographically in my mind, down to the tone of the lights in the room and the shows that kept repeating on food network (his favorite channel).

Now....almost 2 1/2 years later, I just want to sit in the garage and talk with him, trade books, get his opinion on the lunacy of my life, have him be able to meet my boyfriend...all I can do now is say goodnight to him every night, as I still do, and try to remember well enough to think what his responses might be.  I wish he'd gotten to read the last of the Harry Potter books.  I wish, if I ever manage it, that he'd be here to walk me down the aisle if I eventually do get married again, and get it right this time. I wish my friends and loves could know him through more than just the stories I tell.

I know you're still out there Dad, but sometimes I notice the distance more.

Which European nationality should you have created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as British British 88% Italian 88% Irish 75% Belgian 63% Turkish 63% Danish 63% Swiss 50% Spanish 50% German 50% Polish 50% French 50% Dutch 38% Russian 13% Molvanian 0%

a. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.

and that's all i'm doing because everyone's done this already =P

1. I refuse to watch horror movies after dark.  And by horror I mean actually scary, mindjob-y type stuff. Dawn of the Dead, Army of Darkness 'horror' is just cheesy good fun.

2. I get hurt easily, convince myself it's my fault, and try to act tough and stuff it away so no one notices.  Sometimes it even works.

3. I have a hard time convincing myself I'm worth someone's effort, and I'm still terrified to ask anyone that means something for anything, because deep down I'm convinced that I'm not worth that effort and I don't want to find out.

4. I'm incapable of staying neat and organized.

5. I can't stay upset or angsty for any period of time.  It's really impossible for me to carry that kind of anger all the time.  I'll still get hit with flashes of it here and there, but for the most part I go on living upbeat and being amused by life.  If I'm depressed for a long time you won't know it from interacting with me on a daily basis, I just quit sleeping.

6. I work out with my dog since it's impossible to keep her out of my business.

7. I still have stuffed animals that I sleep with on occasion when I need something to hug.  The afformentioned puppydog won't cooperate because she gets too hot.

stolen from meta4life

the lists are at http://longboredsurfer.com/charts.php  Favorites then, now, and the ohdeargodmyearsarebleeding selection(s)

ok, i'm listing a few each (and man, i never got into that whole pop r&b crap thing, so i'm just taking standouts for the really bad--hated most of that ;) )
1993:
then:Runaway Train » Soul Asylum, Rhythm Is A Dancer » Snap (ok, yes, i went through a dance music phase ;) ), Mr. Wendal » Arrested Development, 7 » Prince & The New Power Generation
now:I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) » Proclaimers, Come Undone » Duran Duran, Break It Down Again » Tears For Fears
omgwtf: I'm Every Woman » Whitney Houston(i got really really sick of her in general)
1994:
then: Wild Night » John Mellencamp & Me'shell Ndegeocello, I'll Remember » Madonna, All For Love » Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart & Sting
now: Shine » Collective Soul, Return To Innocence » Enigma, Because The Night » 10,000 Maniacs, Mary Jane's Last Dance » Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
omgwtf: I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) » Meat Loaf
1995:
then:Good » Better Than Ezra, Cotton Eye Joe » Rednex, Carnival » Natalie Merchant, In The House Of Stone And Light » Martin Page
now: No More "I Love You's" » Annie Lennox, You Gotta Be » Des'ree, I'll Stand By You » Pretenders
omgwtf:All I Wanna Do » Sheryl Crow (don't hate the artist, but oh, wow, me no likey de song)

1996:
then:Children » Robert Miles, Mouth » Merril Bainbridge, The World I Know » Collective Soul, Missing » Everything But The Girl
now:You Learn » Alanis Morissette, Children » Robert Miles
omgwtf:  Just A Girl » No Doubt (I HATE this song with a passion--I don't hate No Doubt in general, and there's a couple songs I actively like, but <shudders>) , Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix) » Los Del Rio (yeah, it was briefly amusing, but got way out of hand), One Sweet Day » Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men1997:
then: Naked Eye » Luscious Jackson, Bitch » Meredith Brooks, Semi-Charmed Life » Third Eye Blind
now: Building A Mystery » Sarah McLachlan
ohdeargodsmybrainhurts: Barbie Girl » Aqua

Because someone figured most of his friends wouldn't do it...<cough> creativedv8tion<cough>
Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Assistant to the Education Coordinator (which sounds much more impressive that it was, but kinda fun)
2. Delivery Bitch  (actually, that was the two-people-do-everything-required-to-run-an-office-supply-store job--I miss my store)
3. Hallmark assistant manager
4. Drycleaning clerk

Four Places I have lived

1. Raleigh
2. Rochester
3. Richlands
4. Edgewater (damn it, ran out of alliteration)

Four Places I have been:

1. Alaska
2. Greece
3. Washington, DC
4. Coastal Maine

Four of my favourite foods:

1. homemade fried okra
2. a good rare steak
3. chinese food (too many favorites)
4. meh.  i'm the daughter of an amateur chef and of european stock, i just love good food

Four Places I would rather be now:

1. northwest coast
2. springs
3. hanging out with matt, though preferably not in alabama
4. watching a thunderstorm

Four Current Favourite songs or albums:

it just says current, so...

1. the jeffrey gaines cover of 'in your eyes'
2. imogen heap's 'speak for yourself'
3. karunesh 'global spirit'
4. linkin park's 'minutes to midnight'

of course this was only answered due to the 'current' designation

Four friends I think will Post this MeMe first:
i has 3 of you, one's already done it, i'm not expecting any answers ;)

ok, i love the fact that when you delete entries you get the little animation of a goat eating balled-up paper. wow, was i an angsty little bitch.

hmm...I think in terms of journal designation I'm going to include in entry titles the terms 'news' and 'useless' to designate whether anything's worth reading.   (so both of you can tell whether i'm rambling or actually doing something useful, the latter probably less common.)

I've just got that itch to *write*  again...to type, to scrawl on paper, to...I don't know, just put down words.  I found most of my poetry, mixed up as it is, and I'm going to start throwing the stronger pieces up on deviantart, as I still have delusions of one day publishing my poetry.  Of course, the one poem that started this mad crusade is still...somewhere. I know I have it, it's just a matter of page-by-page through every notebook I have of that time period.  My last term of college?  I think that's about right. I found Raph's journal, too.  It was a cheap thing to start with, and now the cover's falling off.  I'm tempted to read it over again, but given that in my flipping through, I found an entry from October of 01 (I'd married in June of that year, for those who keep score)  intimating one of our non-fights which ended in my lying awake in bed while he sat and played around on the computer till all hours. I may not want to go through all that AGAIN.  I flipped to the last page, and found something that would be rather profound if I didn't keep slipping back again and again...

from 3 June, 05

...So much has happened that I don't even know where to begin to tell you.  The divorce, a year ago today, Dad's illness, a disastrous attempt at a relationship. I wrote a poem the other day, the first in I don't know how long. It's no good, but I wrote...that in itself meant something.  Cleaning out the darkroom too, in hopes of finding a usable area again.  Remembering how to be an artist, remembering that I believe in faeries and magic and the joy of the world.  Remembering that once I would capture that world--hold it in my heart and turn it around and inside out and then pour it out again.   I'm learning again to simply be, realizing that thinking and analyzing over and over take away the magic of a thing, a person, a relationship...

I think I've fallen and tried to reinvent myself at least 3 more times since that writing.  I keep convincing myself I've succeeded, but it never seems to last, and then I end up laughing at myself as one of those angsty drama whore artists who can't seem to do decent work without a source of strife, one who's afraid to jump wholeheartedly into that life because of what it would cost to fail at what I really love.  I did get a book the other day, The Business Side of Creativity:  The Complete Guide to Running a Small Graphic Design or Communications Business so reading that may be a good kick in the behind.

I don't do resolutions at new years because it's just dumb to me. What I do keep is a sort of running list of goals, some modest, some a little grander.  As it stands, carried over from last year and modified slightly, here are the goals that stay on my list till they get accomplished.

-Figure out men.  No, seriously, I don't think that happens. 

-Make Dragon Grove a reality.

-Go out and get a job that can feed me and Kal and that I will enjoy at least part of the time.

-Get back into some kind of dancing.

he regresado.  in other words, i've finally remembered my password and returned to the land of lj.  and wootness ensued. ;)  or something. 

On a completely different note, sometimes I despair that I live in this state...

Man charged with swinging alligator at girlfriend This one's actually only about 20 miles from me. Is anyone else thinking 'gods, the poor gator?'

S&M takes a holiday? Well, it is the Keys....